So as I am getting closer to the last day of official school I am getting more panicky on homeschooling Boo Bear. I think it is starting to set in and I am doubting myself. I am not doubting the choice mind you but I am doubting my ability. I will be taking responsibility for my child’s education. I would be doing that anyway with choosing to put him in a school but I am taking it upon myself to teach him what he needs to know. So yes, that is a little overwhelming.
I don’t know if I have mentioned this before but I really feel I am OCD when it comes to planning. I have to have every detail planned out to a T. For me I need to have everything in a certain order and I even plan for odd happenings that most often do not happen. I want a plan in place for how an event should go and a plan for the problems that could happen. While in some aspects this is good it can become quite stressful and almost debilitating when it comes to homeschool. Planning is great but homeschool is not about meeting someone else’s schedule or even their ideas of how he should learn. I am not on their time schedule I am on his. That means if he catches something quickly we don’t have to spend two weeks on it we can advance. That also means if he has issues with something we can take a little more time with it until he catches it.
My OCD on planning has been stressing me out and I have been praying very hard on this. I know I need to let go and let God take care of it. His plan always works better than mine anyway. ;o) I called my dad yesterday to talk with him aI am bout the objectives our state has for kindergarten. This is another reason I was doubting my abilities. As I read these words I could not figure out half of what they wanted him to do. Of course it confuses me because once I understood them he is already surpassing a few of the basics because of this past year. Oh dear. So after talking with my dad and him telling me to chill out basically and relax I feel much better.
So to stop stressing out over this we are going to make an outline of what I want our yearly goals to be. When we are done with Kindergarten there are a few things I want him to be able to do. Any of the other things that come along the way that is great. We will take an evaluation around Christmas or so and see how things are going. I have to let go and understand that my plans will not always work out and that is OKAY! Thanks for reading all this way. Just if you think of it pray for us as we start this journey. I am both excited and nervous but I know this is the best thing that could happen to both of us. Be Blessed!
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