I have always had a hard time saying "no". No to things that people ask me to do. No to giving of my time for someone else. No to taking on yet another task that is going to eat up time and strength. This has always been my downfall. When I was a teen it wasn't too much of an issue. I did a lot of things because it was just me. Another thing I don't like, is confrontation.. sigh.. It's just how I'm built. I am a peacemaker. Don't get upset with me or angry. I'll cry.. It's very irritating but it's just how God put me together. So most times I said yes so I didn't have to face that confrontation or possible resentment/anger that I had created in my mind if I said no.
So when I got married I still thought I could take things on. Which I did do. Then I had my son. I didn't take on quite as much but I still thought I could. If I wanted... If I was asked.. How could I say no???
Well I have decided that this is my year of learning to let go. Letting go of the extras I keep piling on myself. Letting go of my idea of a perfectly spotless home. Letting go of the perfect homeschool day. Letting go of the perfectly timed dinner, perfectly behaved child all the time, and perfectly behaved...me.. I have my moments ;) Perfect work at home career...
I have slowly been realizing this past month with all that has gone on that I really do need to let go. Burning the candle at both ends so to speak. I'm putting one of those ends out. I want more time with my child. More time with my husband. More time with me. ;) More time with the One who created me and made me just the way I am.
So I'm letting go. Letting go of some of the work at home stuff and refocusing my efforts on a certain few things I think God has led me to. Letting go of the perfect homeschool day and enjoying the days we have. If that means our math lesson and science lesson happen in the kitchen making pancakes for the day, so be it. Letting go of the spotless home and realizing we live in our home. There's going to be toys here and shoes there. One day too soon I will miss those toys and shoes lying around and wish I had them to fuss about. :)
I'm learning that "no" is not the four letter word I once thought it was. It's okay to say "no" sometimes so we can say "yes" to what God is doing in our lives.