What do I want to be when I grow up?

So far so good today! Today has gone much more smoothly and relaxed than yesterday did. I dont know what the problem was but I seem to be better today. I have been working a little off and on today since it is the first of the month. For those of you who dont know I work as a virtual assistant. It is nice to have a little extra money coming in from my side.

Well, my little one will be starting Pre- K in about 5-6 months. I am having a dilemna though on my end. Yes, I will miss him dearly but I am excited for him. My dilemna is myself. I was going to school to be in medical billing and coding when we moved from Georgia last year. I havent gone back to school yet to finish it but have been accepted to the college down here. All I lack is direction. I dont want to be stuck in a job for the rest of my life simply because I need to make the money and this was the best I could do. I dont want to do something that causes me to be miserable either. That is not good for me or my family. Been there, done that and dont want to go back. So, I look at the things the college offers. I also try and sit down to figure out what I love to do. Hmm... what do I LOVE doing.... I love to cook, hang out with my son, do paperwork on the computer that most people dont like, cook, try new recipes and oh yeah, I like to Cook. :)LOL

I know the first logical thing would be, oh why dont you start a restaraunt or a bakery, etc. Well I want to own my own business but I dont know where or how to even start. I also know it is a TON Of work. When you are the owner/workers you dont get a vacation, time off, etc. I know this as watching my aunt and uncle working their business for many years. Most businesses started right now also flop because of bad timing, bad economy etc. So do you think I could convince my hubby to do this? ;)

The other things I have considered are Real estate, physical therapist assistant, teacher, medical transcriptionist and the list goes on. What I want to do is this: I want to be available for my son. I want to be there for him to go to school, come home from school and when he gets sick. I want to be able to help bring in some income to the family so my husband doesnt do it all by himself. I want to be able to work/volunteer at Jack's school. Is this too much to ask?

Another idea I have thought about is an event planner. I love to plan. That is a good quality I have. Some might not call it good, because I tend to plan WAY earlier than everyone else. :) I start planning for someones birthday party SEVERAL months or even a year ahead of time. Just bouncing ideas and trying to get myself organized. So I think I would like doing that. One friend suggested I do weddings. I am not sure if I could do that.

I think my problem boils down to a lack of confidence in myself. I know some things I would love doing but what if I fail when I try? What if I do it and go out there and fall flat out on my face? What would I do then? Well, I would have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. That is my problem that I have to deal with. Lack of confidence that I CAN DO THIS.

Keep me in your thoughts as I try to figure out the answer to the question I have asked myself over and over. What do I want to be?

Until next time....