Sunday, February 3, 2013

Running On Empty

Well the saga continues about my kiddo and his lack of sleeping later in the mornings. Maybe I'm just delusional and this is normal for a child but I really don't believe that. I know he is in pain.. I know he is tired and it shows in his emotions and his actions. Mommy is tired and it shows in her emotions and actions too. I gotta be honest here for a minute. This Mama's heart hurts. I know there's something wrong with my son. I know he is in pain and I can't fix it. I know I am snippy at times because I am emotionally drained and worn out. I know I am really ready for a solution so our life can be back to normal ;-)

It's very difficult being in this position and I can not imagine how other mother's whose children are more severely ill than mine handle it. Those whose children are living with diseases beyond their control that take over their little bodies. Those whose every single day is filled with what if's and why this's? I am so very thankful for my son and that this is supposed to be a simple fix. Yes it will require surgery to fix it but it could be so much worse. I pray for those families that deal with more severe extras everyday. I have some of those special blessings around our life through the blogosphere and in person. I pray for those Mother's that God gives them strength, comfort and peace.

All that being said now I'm up to my title point ;) . Homeschooling, functioning in day to day life, being a Mom, or a wife or a friend while you are running on empty. How do you do it? On those days when all you want to do is hide away from the world ;) LOL Ahhh.. Yes I have those days. Yes I want to go to sleep one night and everything just be magically back to the way it should be. And one day I know it will be. But for now...

We just take each day one day at a time. Guess what? I'm not going to stress out if we don't do every single thing I had planned today. I am letting go of the image of a perfect homeschool day ;) . I am taking it slow and easy. We will get it done. Maybe not this week but maybe next. I am so thankful we have that privilege  I don't know what we would do if he was in public school. I know his days would be difficult with the lack of sleep. He's very emotional right now and easy to get upset too so I know this is weighing on him. So tomorrow bright and early the doctor will be getting a call to see how we can get their referral on the ball here.

So in the meantime I am praying for grace to reign over me. I have a hard time when I'm emotionally drained, physically drained and just ready to break down at a moment's notice. I feel bad because I can feel myself getting upset with my son for getting up every... 15... such an early time. I am frustrated because I know he's hurting. I'm frustrated because I'm tired. and I know he is too I'm frustrated because we can't seem to get anything to work. I'm praying that my word for 2013 will ever be present in my mind. I am thankful that I am already feeling the Holy Spirit reminding me that I should give grace just as I receive grace everyday. No it's not his fault and I don't want him to feel that way. We have spent a lot of time cuddling and talking and Mommy reassuring him it's not his fault and I'm not mad at him. He's such a sweet trooper and I am ready for him to be his normal self again.

If you don't mind please say a little prayer for us if you remember :). We could certainly use it. I might be grabbing a nap today ;) Have a great Sunday and be blessed!

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