Monday, March 1, 2010


Well today something has been bobbing around in my head. Ever have a time where you think back on your past, your life, highschool things like that? Ever think back and say I wish I could that over again? Well, yes, there are things I would do differently. Like spending more time with my grandparents when I had the chance. Taking life a little slower at times. Not being in such a hurry to get grown up. :) But for the overall look back at my life I would not change a thing.

For those of you who think I am nuts let me tell you why. I was not the popular kid in school. No matter how bad I wanted to be I just wasnt. I wasnt a "perfect 10". I was overweight, had to wear braces and didnt always have the namebrand clothes etc. I wasnt sporty or athletically inclined in any way shape or fashion. I was a band nerd. (though I LOVED being a band nerd!!!) Music was always where I had more talent. I was a "good girl" . I didnt get in trouble, didnt drink, didnt smoke, didnt party. I was picked on in high school by some because I didnt do these things. I didnt have plans every friday night etc. I didnt even date much. I think in my whole high school career I had maybe three boyfriends.

Now that I have told you what I didnt have, let me tell you what I did. I had the best group of friends! I had a family that loved me unconditionally and told me so everyday. I had a church group that was awesome and I loved hanging out with. I had good grades because, yes, I was a nerd. I had often thought when I was younger how I wish I was part of that crowd. I wish I was popuar and had all the friends etc. But I had friends. I had friends that stood by me no matter what. Some of them I am still friends with today, some I havent seen or heard from in years but I know they are out there somewhere.

I would not change that experience for anything because going thru that made me who I am today. I learned I dont have to be a perfect ten to enjoy life. I have a beautiful family. I have a husband who loves me as I am. Not because of something the world says I have to be. I have a son who tells me he loves me and I am beautiful everyday. What more could I ask for? I used to have the lowest self esteem but thru the experiences I have had since high school, I know that I am worth it! I may never fit this worlds view of perfection but I dont have to. I am finding thru my new journey I have decided to take that I dont have to be a size two to fit in. I have friends, family and a GREAT Life! In my life I had shed many tears for not fitting in that crowd but no more. I dont need that crowd. :) I have my own crowd and you are welcome to come on in!

I guess I would change something about my teen years. I would have discovered the real me earlier and let it shine. For those of you close to me in high school, you probably knew the real me. Outgoing, funny at times and LOVE having a GREAT time. For those of you who didnt, maybe someday you will know me. For now I am living life and loving it! Thankful for every day God gives me. Thankful for the things that God kept me from in highschool and those experiences I didnt have to have. Thankful that He loves me and has loved me no matter what. Thankful for my family and friends that dont leave when the going gets a little rougher than normal.

So, thanks to those of you that were used as sanders on my journey to finding myself. You helped me become what I am, even if I didnt like it at the time.

Have a great day to you all!

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