Ok, so let's talk about the elephant in the room. You know the one that you hope stays in it's corner and that magically gets through to your kids with osmosis? The elephant that you hope you don't have to talk about anytime soon?
You know the elephant that once your child is born is always hovering nearby waiting for the day when you have to sit down and have "The Talk" about?
Yeah. That one. It seems that it's a subject that is far off then one day your child asks you out of the blue, "What is sex?".
Yeah. You're with me now right?
I have known this was coming since we knew we were pregnant. My husband and I joked about the talk before Boo Bear was even born and we also said "but that's way way off from now".
Enter now. Here we are. No, it's not quite time to have the full blown talk with him but he's about to turn nine. While we do homeschool, he hear's words like sex on television. It's really sad that in commercials and regular old television shows this is a predominant subject. Unless you totally disconnect from the world around you and hide out in a bunker, your child is going to face this probably much earlier than you're ready for them to.
That's where Jonathan McKee's new book,
More than Just The Talk, comes in hand. I recently received this as a review from
Family Christian Supply and since I had already had the "what is sex" question come up once, I thought this would be an amazing time to read it. Just so happens, it worked out I was chosen to get this for review.
From the beginning of the book I learned a lot about how much our kids are inundated with sex and how it's portrayed to them. The songs they hear, the movies they watch, even a simple search on the Internet can get them way more than they bargained for. Don't get me wrong. I know it's there but sometimes it sneaks in on you.
Jonathan brings out the truth about kids in your youth group. You may think that they don't hear or see these things but it's happening everywhere. The songs your children are listening to on their iPods or with their friends. Have you stopped and listened to some of those lyrics?
It's pretty scary how easy it is for them to get a mixed bag of information and a skewed portrait of what this amazing gift is. They can see it as a game or as a competition instead of the incredible gift that God gave to a married couple.
I have to say while this was a hard book to read for me because I want my kid to stay innocent and small forever, it was such a tremendous encouragement and help. Jonathan has been working in youth ministry for 20 years and he's offering such great advice on becoming your child's go to person when they have questions.
The book is full of great information and encouragement as you realize you're not alone in this journey with your children. He encourages you to talk about God's plan for sex and to have more than just one talk. He explains how having multiple talks along the way opens up that dialogue and relationship with your children so they can come to you when they have questions. I'd much rather he come to us than hitting Google every time.
He covers all sorts of topics that are pretty touchy but how you can talk to your child about them. He goes over scriptures and assists you in answering those hard ones such as why should I wait, the lure of porn and the voices your children are hearing from every direction on this topic.
I have to say one of my favorite chapters was "Your Son". Here's a shot of one of my favorite things that stood out to me in that chapter. We want to raise our son to be a respectable, hardworking man. One who knows where his help comes from and who to turn to in times of trouble. We want him to make wise decisions and to surround himself with people that can lead him to the right path. This quote stuck out to me... "Boys need to learn that a wise man is a humble man... We need to be careful who we surround ourselves with".
As a parent you may have already had the talk or you may be on the verge of the talk. You may have had questions come up and not sure really how to respond. Jonathan McKee's book is a great tool for your arsenal in helping your children make wise decisions and know who they can talk to. It helps you to realize that you can do this and helps you to understand it doesn't have to be taboo.
I highly recommend checking out this book and his others on helping to get through those tough and difficult conversations. You can also check out his website by
clicking here.
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