Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Easter is Coming.

 Last night we sat and watched The Passion live together as a family. I am an emotional person anywho so when it comes to hearing or seeing what Jesus did for me, it just brings me to tears. Brings me to my knees.

Last year I wrote about Mary's perspective and this year it is even more on my heart. As I think of the bond I have with my son. The times we have laughed. The times we've cried together. The times that I would have moved mountains to make it all better for him. The times that I would have feelings of protective instincts rise up in me I never knew existed. I imagine Mary having those feelings for her son.

I wonder when she was watching Him take the whipping, beating and lashing for us, did she remember holding him in her arms as a baby. Cuddling Him and soothing Him as He cried.

Did she think of all the hugs he gave her as he ran up to her as a small boy? Did she think of all the, 'I love you mother's' that I'm sure He spoke as a child.

 Did she think about the times He had her laughing so hard she couldn't breathe? Did she think of the times that He told her stories or showed her treasures He found?

 Did she think of the funny faces he might have made as most little boys do? Did she remember all those times she ran through the yard with Him, chasing him or playing? Did she think about the times that they sat down for dinner as a family and enjoyed the love and laughter?

 Did she maybe think about the times He came in covered with dirt as all little boys seem to find the dirtiest dirt around?
 Did she recall memories of watching Him peacefully sleep as children do?
Did she recall watching Him grow, work with his earthly dad, and how amazed she was at His courage and strength, even as a child?

As she watched Him struggle to carry the cross, do you think she had her mother instincts kick in to protect her son? Do you think she remembered each step He took, each breath He had, each day she knew this was closer? Do you think she stood there watching and knew that everything in her wanted to protect Him from this, but that this was all supposed to happen? This was God's plan. This was why He came.

I don't talk about Mary to put her on a pedestal or make her to be more important than what Easter is all about. No. Not at all. It is all about the amazing sacrifice that Jesus made and the resurrection that gives us hope. Gives us peace and love like we've never known before.

I talk about her because as each year passes, as Boo Bear grows and matures, as he does things that amaze me and things that I just can't even understand, I remember her. I can connect with the crucifixion in a way I never imagined possible. I connect because I can't imagine giving my son up to a world that hates him, all because he came to love them. I connect with Mary as my heart breaks as a mom to know that he will walk a road I can't always go down. He will face things that Mom can't fix. And he'll do it with God.

I connect with her mother's heart and knowing that her son, was meant to change the world. Will Boo Bear change the world? I hope so. I hope he shares the love of Christ everywhere he goes. I pray that as he grows he will always lean on God and know that He's the only thing in this world that brings peace, hope, love, and forgiveness.

I can't imagine what Mary felt. What she thought as she watched this all unfold. As she laid her son to rest in a tomb that was borrowed. As she saw him take his final breath. As she saw the empty tomb. As she knew He had done what He said He would do. I can't imagine the thoughts in her mind from the angel appearing and telling her she would give birth to the king. Not just any king... THE King. I can't imagine the emotions she felt as she gave birth and others came from far and wide to see the newborn baby.

I can't imagine what she felt as she watched the nails being driven into his feet and hands. I can't imagine the utter broken heart as she watched Him suffer and die for people who hated Him for no reason. As she watched Him breathe His last breath. I can't imagine.

Thank you Jesus that you suffered and died for me. That even though I make mistakes, I fail miserably, and I am not perfect, You love me anyway. Thank you that You walk with me through this Earth and Your hand is upon us. Thank you that you forgive, you love, and You laid down your life, even for me. I'll never be able to say thank you enough.

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